...Hey Jealousy...

What is the statute of limitations on how long you should wait before sleeping with someone else? Is there one? I mean after you've broken up with someone you've been in love with for 6+ years? Its like the Ross and Rachel episode on Friends he claims they were on a break and so he slept with some random girl, but it was the first night they had been apart and she was mad, and never forgave him for that...and that was'nt even reality!!!

Backstory: I just found out my ex-boyfriend slept with some random girl two weeks after we had first DISCUSSED breaking up. He originally lied to me about her saying "...she isnt anyone you know, I was driving her to meet up with her boyfriend" Then I found out that same night from one of our mutual friends that his story wasnt true. Do I forgive him for that...because we are broken up now?

Why do guys think this way?

My best friend says "....dont know why they think different, I suppose men think in more terms of escape, like run away from a reality into the arms of another. maybe its about how hard it is to walk away from a relationship... i think you would have to admit, its not completely rational to focus on that versus all the other stuff that he comprimised your relationship on. like, when he would just clam up on you and leave you in silence, or attack you for no good reason, those things were shitty. This thing with the random sex is shitty is too but its just a different type of shitty. he should have no more broke that statue of limitations than he should have done the other things to you either. He did stuff that was wrong to you and he would not stop. You would try to bear it, you would try to work with the relationship to change, he would just continue. you are justified in being mad i guess. i am just saying it did not occur to him what he was doing to you when he forced the silent treatment on you, so this kinda fits. It is totally wrong for someone to do to you, but it fits for him.. "


But being a girl...I can't seem to get this out of my head. He was with another girl two weeks after we had just decided to break things off...at least she's the only girl I know of. And before I found out (this past week...two months after it happened) all I knew was that he was trying to make it through this, and he kept telling me how hard it was for him, and that he's "... in the worst place I have been. I feel like my world is falling apart and I'm headed straight into nothing." Poor him....He even said "I love you but right now I cant give you what you want." two days after he was with that girl! Were we broken up? Can you still tell someone you love them, after you have broken up with them and then slept with another person randomly? And is the other person supposed to beleive that knowing they slept with someone else?

Talk amongst yourselves.

So...when I found out...of course I turned into an obsessive stalker. Who wouldnt? I sent him this letter that, at the time I was thinking as I was writing it sounded pretty damn good. I was sober, I was calmed down since first finding out the news...so I wrote. The only thing I know how to do is to write and get things off my chest. So I thought write a letter! A Novel idea! Lovely! Brilliant! So I wrote...this is what came out of me:

If you think the truth will hurt me, then so be it. I’d rather know the truth straight from you than find out you were lying to me about something stupid like the girl in your accident. That’s really the only thing I have ever asked you to do for me, is tell me the truth. There is one thing I’m really hurt about though it is that you moved on so fast. That was Labor Day weekend and we had just two weeks before finally talking about how we were probably going to break up and you were already with someone...that just hurts to know. You are the only person in this world that I love this much. I had hoped we could maybe one day have a future with each other or maybe just remain close friends. I’m not sure that is what you want anymore since you keep lying to me. Can you actually tell me what you want from this, finally? I wish you would.

I love you and I always will. I know you are moving on, and that is ok with me. It’s taking me a little more time however… It would be really nice to have a conversation with you that lasted more than three minutes so I could ask you these things but instead you hang up on me. In my mind, one day I could still come and visit you if we are both still single, and we could be together while I’m there. And then when the vacation is over I would go back to my world and you could go back to yours. Simple. Is that something you have ever thought of? You have mentioned that we could visit; you could visit me here when you are on the road. I mean now you won’t even call me, is there something to that? Can you actually give me some answers here?

Oh my god.

Did I really send him that?

I am a stalker!

I have become one of those girls you see on late night TV...On the Maury Povich show screaming at the top of her lungs "you're my man and no other ho's gonna have you!" as I proceed to boil his bunny....

I need a life.

....then I need to go have random sex.....