...one of those days...

Ever had one of “those” days?
You wake up and you alarm clock has already been going off for 30 minutes and you wake up to the most annoying song in the world-The Macarena. You roll over to get out of bed and realize that your dog has decided his puffy-pillow bed isn’t good enough, and has crawled under the covers with you and you are now covered in dog hair, with a nice coating on your pillow that will be waiting for you when you get home to do the laundry before bed because there is only one set of sheets that fit your bed. You have to do some floor dressing” because this weekend your mother seemed to have an endless supply of her own dirty laundry, even though she has mwf off to do it...finally you find the pair of jeans that is the least dirty, but they are extremely wrinkled from being in a ball on the floor for three days. You decide to wear them anyway, they will be hidden under the desk along with your dingy white, holey socks and slippers that you step into on the way to slap on your makeup. You finally see yourself in the mirror and discover a huge day-glow zit in the middle of your nose. As you are plastering your face with globs of concealer your dog is whining to go outside because he just didn’t want to go the night before even though you stood out on the friggin wet lawn with him until 1030. You run down the stairs to let him out and in your last step down your slipper sticks to the carpet and you fall face first onto the cold tile making a loud slapping noise that seems to echo through the quiet house, thank god you dint fall at the top of the stairs but now you’ve probably annoyed your still sleeping parents in the next room. On your way back up the stairs you realize in the three minutes that you have been out of bed, your dog has already made a trip downstairs and chewed up a roll of toilet paper on the living room floor. And boy don’t you love the feel of soppy wet slobbery toilet paper in the morning? You have a second trip on your way up the stairs and kick those stupid slippers off. Hair goes into a ponytail because you don’t have time to shower, which is also the reason you are now wet down your sides from washing your armpits in the sink. You pick up your slippers and run downstairs with them in your hands and still manage to trip on the last step. Grab a Coke for breakfast, and feed the dog, only he just stares at his bowl as if he was expecting steak. You run out the door and realize the birds have caught on to your hatred for them, and have used your car for target practice. You pull out into the amazing accumulation of traffic that has managed to all get in front of you because you are invisible to other drivers. Cars pull out in front of you and you have to screech to 10mph and they give you a stinky face in their rear view mirror because you are tailgating them at that point. At one of the many red lights you get stopped at, your breakfast of champion’s spills on your wrinkled jeans and now they seem really dirty. There is one song stuck in your head and your singing it over and over again no matter what song comes on your car radio “...heeeeeyyyyy Macarena...AY!” The one show you are looking forward to watching that night, American Idol (go Carrie and Bo!) is now being accused of being fake! But I love that show! A huge semi with a muddy tractor pulls out in front of you, because you are invisible of course, and drives 35mph in a 60mph zone and you can’t pass now because the lady who gave you the stinky face is blocking you from passing. You run out of windsheild wiper fluid because of all the friggin mudd flying at you from the nuddy tractor. You get a text message from your sister who was supposed to come stay with you over the weekend; she has canceled because she agreed to pet-sit instead. As you are huffing under your breath at your sister, you realize you forgot to brush your teeth and your breath is rank so you swish with your delicious Coke...mmmmm cavities. You finally get ahead of the slow stinky faced driver only to hit every red light you need to go through. At this point you are so frustrated you are growling at everyone and everything, gaaaaaa!
You decide to fix your ponytail in your visor mirror and realize you have forgotten to rub in the globs of concealer on your huge zit, and you have looked like a splochy faced freak grunting and growling at everyone in your path. By now you are actually looking forward to the mundane mindless day you have planned at your desk, in your stained, wrinkled jeans and slippers. And when you finally pull in, your co-worker is standing outside waiting for you with her arms folded tightly in front of her, because you set the code wrong the night before and the alarms are blaring. So you smile and sing to her....“...heeeeeyyyyy Macarena...AY!”