...A Moment of Clarity...

It is the greatest feeling, clarity is. I feel like Ive been holding my breath, being held under water by a rock for the past few months. Well the rock finally moved and Im able to breathe. Big breaths of fresh air.

The brain is a mysterious thing; it has a way of protecting you by blocking out details that may harm you. This morning for some reason, my brain let down this barrier and everything clicked into place!

Here is a sequence of events:
September 2, 2004
conversation with Rob in which he got angry at me for writing an e-mail to his dad regarding my cell phone account...I couldnt figure out why Rob didnt want me to write to his dad..but he was extremely angry...

Later that same day I get a response from Robs dad, and in it he tells me how sorry he is that Rob and I broke up...which caused confusion on my end...because we werent broken up at that point.



So I sent an email to Rob stating that now I understood why he didnt want me to contact his dad, it seemed that we had already broken up and to clue me in next time I was confused...

Labor day weekend
Rob takes the ho...Kitty for a nice weekend in WinterPark, drives home drunk and totals his truck...they are unharmed. They apparently dated for a month or so afterwards.

Tuesday after Labor day
Rob tells me he totaled his truck, and that his life is in shambles, and that this was hard for him...but that he couldnt give me what I wanted.

I dont know why but my brain wasnt putting two and two together...Rob had already gotten to know her before they went for the weekend apparently. So he was telling me he still loved me and that everything would work out, and in reality he was already dating this Kitty person. He probably told everyone we had broken up long before that also...including his father.

Why did it take me that long to "get it"?

Well i feel much better...no more psychosis. No more obsessing over him. Hes trash.