...on being a responsible adult...

Only my parents can make me feel guilty for being a responsible grown up and paying a bill. I swear they want to treat me like I’m 17 forever.

I paid a bill that had been hanging around for a year because Rob wouldn’t pay it. It was a pretty big bill leftover from our old apartment, and it was mostly Rob’s responsibility to pay, however my name was on the bill too. I’ve been through this kind of thing before and it isn’t fun when there are two names on one bill, but that’s the way it happens with creditors. If it is a bill for X amount and both your names are on it, you can’t split it in half and tell the creditors “well he can pay the other half, take my name off this” it just doesn’t work that way. Until the last dollar is paid both your names are still on the bill, and it is still in your credit and rental history until the last penny is paid, they don’t care who pays it or who’s fault it was. So I paid the frigging whole thing because I knew Rob would never pay a dime to it and it would hang over our heads for ever if I didn’t do something about it. And right now in my life is not a great time to fuck around with my rental history because I’m trying to find a place to live! I just don’t want any more drama in my life because of this kind of shit. I’ve tried to get money out of Rob for so long, he has never paid me back a dime from what I have loaned him, and from what my dad has loaned him (which probably adds up close to $3000.00 by now) and when I told him about this bill all he had to say was “Don’t pay it, its bullshit, you should dispute it” Well its not bullshit-we owe the money, and we always have owed the money. I know I will never see any money from Rob for any of this; he would have never helped me even if I asked. It took him 4 months just to pay an overdue cable bill that was in my name. (Word of advice to those who are moving in together: share responsibilities and never put your name on all the bills. You are destined to get fucked if you split.)

Anyway, last night out of the blue my dad says “I don’t think you should have paid that whole bill.” For a second I couldn’t figure out what he was talking about. I felt like I had to stand up for myself and explain to him the reasons why I paid the full amount. As if he thinks Rob would actually pay the other half? He even tried to tell me I was wrong about splitting the bill in half with the creditors and getting your name off the bill that way. It doesn’t work that way!!! I know from experience with other bills! I’m sure he thinks I’m stupid as usual, and thinks I can’t possibly make my own decisions because he thinks I’m dumb- (He’s even told me before “you are so stupid”.) Then...somehow he knew the amount of the bill...I never told them the amount! So I asked my mother who was sitting there the whole time “how did you guys know the amount by the way?” She replied “I looked in the trash”. She snooped in my trash and looked through torn up paper still in the envelope!!!! Do I not have any privacy at all in that frigging house???? I can’t even throw something away without them wanting to know about it. I got pissed.

I paid it to avoid the drama, and what did I get? Drama. I don’t need this shit. I know I was right in my decision. I was responsible. I was taking care of my self- I didn’t pay it for any other reason! I did the right thing!!!

Somehow I have managed to take care of myself for the past 13 years since I graduated high school and moved away from home...I don’t know how I did it because apparently in my parents eyes I am still a child who is stupid and cant do anything right. Somehow I managed to live on my own, pay my own bills, have a good job and take care of myself for 13 years. And somehow I was smart enough to get through college and get a bachelors degree with a 3.0 GPA, and was on the deans list for the last 3 years of school-all by myself. Somehow I was able to get a great job after college, and other people actually thought I was smart enough to be the operations manager of the company for 6 years straight!

Wow...all without my parents’ supervision. Who knew?