...three little words...
How can just three little words get to me so much? I’m not talking about THOSE three little words, I’m talking about
1. I
2. Miss
3. You
Well he said them, and now I can’t get him out of my head. Why out of the blue, and after I had been bitching at him about the bills? He misses me? I even questioned him back, asked him if he was drunk. I can understand drunken emails, and I am generous with those gimmes because I have done many of them. But he actually answered back that in fact it wasn’t drunken, and that he did miss me. It is so shocking to me. I don’t know why. Maybe it is because it takes a lot to get that kind of emotion out of him. Maybe it’s because I bitched at him and didn’t expect that kind of response. Maybe it’s because we never shared the same feelings at quite the same time ever before. Do I miss him? I definitely do miss some things about being with him, being close to him. But I don’t miss a lot of things about him. And it’s those things I have to keep reminding myself about when I start missing him all over again. I did tell him I missed him too, I guess I would call that a weak moment, but I felt like giving in. On the way to work this morning I thought about going back to him...hypothetically. I could have, if I never knew about the lies and the cheating. That is sad, I know, but it’s true. I could go back to him even now, but it would take a whole lot for me to get over all the shit that happened. I would probably end up pushing him away again to get my frustrations out and it would end again. I don’t think Ill ever get over it, he broke my heart. No one has ever broken my heart; it’s usually me who does that, and me who ends things. Well in this case I did end things, and then later found out about all the shit.
I found an article in the paper coincidentally this week; I guess it would be the Dear Abby sort of advice portion of the paper. It was a man writing in about a break up he had, and later he found out she had been cheating on him. He wondered if he was allowed to be mad about it since he found out after the break up occurred. Her advice was yes, he is entitled to be mad at her for that. But that he shouldn’t carry that onto another relationship. He should only be mad at her, and distrust only her. That is the part I’m having a hard time with- trust. I hear people say all the time “men will always cheat”. I’ve never been cheated on, in any other relationship that is, so I suppose that one out of 4 or 5 relationships isn’t bad, but why did it have to be the one I wanted to be in forever? Maybe it’s my Karma coming back to me for ending my other relationships the way I did. I guess it was coming to me. I just wish it had come a lot sooner; I could have saved 6 years of my social life. I’m still thinking about him. It feels good that he misses me. I just wish I didn’t miss him so damn much.
1. I
2. Miss
3. You
Well he said them, and now I can’t get him out of my head. Why out of the blue, and after I had been bitching at him about the bills? He misses me? I even questioned him back, asked him if he was drunk. I can understand drunken emails, and I am generous with those gimmes because I have done many of them. But he actually answered back that in fact it wasn’t drunken, and that he did miss me. It is so shocking to me. I don’t know why. Maybe it is because it takes a lot to get that kind of emotion out of him. Maybe it’s because I bitched at him and didn’t expect that kind of response. Maybe it’s because we never shared the same feelings at quite the same time ever before. Do I miss him? I definitely do miss some things about being with him, being close to him. But I don’t miss a lot of things about him. And it’s those things I have to keep reminding myself about when I start missing him all over again. I did tell him I missed him too, I guess I would call that a weak moment, but I felt like giving in. On the way to work this morning I thought about going back to him...hypothetically. I could have, if I never knew about the lies and the cheating. That is sad, I know, but it’s true. I could go back to him even now, but it would take a whole lot for me to get over all the shit that happened. I would probably end up pushing him away again to get my frustrations out and it would end again. I don’t think Ill ever get over it, he broke my heart. No one has ever broken my heart; it’s usually me who does that, and me who ends things. Well in this case I did end things, and then later found out about all the shit.
I found an article in the paper coincidentally this week; I guess it would be the Dear Abby sort of advice portion of the paper. It was a man writing in about a break up he had, and later he found out she had been cheating on him. He wondered if he was allowed to be mad about it since he found out after the break up occurred. Her advice was yes, he is entitled to be mad at her for that. But that he shouldn’t carry that onto another relationship. He should only be mad at her, and distrust only her. That is the part I’m having a hard time with- trust. I hear people say all the time “men will always cheat”. I’ve never been cheated on, in any other relationship that is, so I suppose that one out of 4 or 5 relationships isn’t bad, but why did it have to be the one I wanted to be in forever? Maybe it’s my Karma coming back to me for ending my other relationships the way I did. I guess it was coming to me. I just wish it had come a lot sooner; I could have saved 6 years of my social life. I’m still thinking about him. It feels good that he misses me. I just wish I didn’t miss him so damn much.
Newspaper advice
posted by Jenni @ 5:30 PM
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